Hope.

It is so nice to have you here.

You know, hope is solely based on choice. And I think that makes it so much more meaningful.

I'm in the process of running around and getting FBI checks, IRS forms, etc, etc, in order to move to Japan. This is all so complicated and I really feel like a significant human being. I will be put into AFIS (I'm just guessing that's how it's spelled since I watch so much CSI) and the IRS will more significantly track me down if I commit tax fraud. Anyway, I'm starting to develop spring allergies, a plague I have skillfully and genetically escaped for the past twenty-odd years, but the spring blooms have tracked me down and I am one of those snuffy nosed cartoons from allergen commercials.

In other news, my sister is officially planning her wedding at Westlake Inn and I am dying, halfway from jealousy halfway from fear that I will be the worst maid of honor everrr. Not only does the female instinct escape me, but I have never so much as been to an Americanized wedding, nor been a part of one. (Even though I was the most sought out 5-year-old flower girl)

I've decided to start reading more Bret Easton Ellis; of course everyone knows he wrote American Psycho, but his other works are supposedly much more complex. I've taken up The Informers, solely for the fact that it revolves around the superficiality of Los Angeles, a topic which will intrigue my player-hating heart forever.

Also, I've become thoroughly engrossed in White Teeth by Zadie Smith, a book that has evoked such rare emotion me, a feeling I haven't felt since reading A Heartbreaking Work. Needless to say, I've found the second milestone of writerly admiration. Meaning, if I could ever write, this is exactly what I would write.

This happens to be all over the place, but the other day I finally broke another technological rule that I have set for myself. Asides from buying music online, which I broke earlier this year (see: circa November 2007), but I broke down and bought a ringtone for my cell phone. You would think for $2.49, they let you have a 2 second glimpse of what you're buying. Regardless of that logical thought, I think that is partly their way of ripping you off. So I decided since I am a novice at this internet-phone-music shit to keep it safe and buy a song that is unmistakably good, one that you can't even ruin with technology. Naturally, I chose Wilco, but they didn't have any Wilco (which I refuse to believe). So I seconded for "Strange Times" by the Black Keys, since they are the first great rock band to come out of our day and age. I can't believe I'm saying this, but yes- AT&T has fucked up the Black Keys. I'm not so sure how they did, but ...I wasted $2.49 (and some internet surcharges) for a ringtone that literally SCARES me. ... I wish they still had "Spooky." You know which ring tone I'm talking about.

Off to run to the city and then to school and then to work and then to sleep.
My life in a nutshell.
How did I get into this nutshell?
Austin Powers 1 is still the best, I don't care what you say.

-S.